Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I looked at my own cervix.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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