Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
