i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
