Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
