Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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