It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
