My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
