The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
