I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the liver wants what the liver wants
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
