he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
