its not stalking. its research.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
