you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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