Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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