a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
