he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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