Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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