forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
