I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize