I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Also, beer. Big fan.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
