absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
