so that wasnt chicken after all
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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