So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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