Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
