He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
