was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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