He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
