I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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