you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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