i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
so much tequila, so little girl.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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