Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize