You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
