Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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