I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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