So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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