that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
