i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
