It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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