Just took my morning after pill in the library
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
