Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
