i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I sprained my soul last night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
