No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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