Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
