so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
