dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
