I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
