ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
