Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize