I should be sponsored by Trojan
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
