Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
