My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have aggressive nipples.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
