okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
