Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
