You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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