there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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