Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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